The power struggle between Conformity & Individuality

How I long for some meaning in my life... Just a reason for me to wake up every morning. All I ask is for a single genuine motive, most people have so many it makes me wonder where they get the fire that burns inside them from. Or from whence they get the kindle to set it alight, I'm in desperate need of inspiration or a revelation from which I could perhaps be able to make some declaration of what my aim in life is and who I really am. I'm a fraud in my own body, an imposter parading myself with an air of certainty and feigned self confidence. Pretending to be completely cool while inside me I question my every move regretting each decision and each word that comes out of my mouth and yet time and time again, I make the same mistakes over and over again. Like a lost sheep at a crossroads who knows not which path to take stuck between following the herd and conforming or taking an entirely knew path, being independent and taking a risk, betting everything on myself.